Slackin'

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Hello Friends! For the five of you that even read this blog...here are a few new pics of the happenings around our crib. Miss Brighton has FINALLY learned how to crawl on all fours...she used to do this army crawl but has since graduated to her knees and hands instead of pulling herself across the floor. I CHOPPED my hair....it took a few days to fall in love with it, but now that it takes 20 minutes to do versus 45 minutes...and I have always wanted a faux hawk...I indeed love the cut, Thanks Crystal. Brighton turned 1 this month! We had a bash of all bashes...I am embarrassed at the amount of money I spent on this little girls day, but she is worth every penny and more....It was a Rainbow Brite party with lots of treats and pics to come....we had a dear friend who takes AMAZING pics come and capture some precious memories for us. And the top picture? Well that is my little Valentine...she was a BIG hit at church today. I am definitely a proud mama. That little girl is the bomb! Hope everyone's Vday was special. 'Til next post! XOXO

Life...

This is a picture of Brighton when she was 6 months old...I needed a happy picture with this post, one that the second you look at it, you can't help but smile....because life is hard. I often wonder why I was blessed to be born to my parents, live in a safe place, a free country, blessed with health and strength, BLESSED. Please don't get me wrong...I am not writing to brag....I just feel blessed and sad at the same time thinking of those in Haiti....those sweet mothers and fathers, children...dead in the street. Bodies piling up and people following the flies to find more dead bodies. My heart hurts. Along with the devastation in Haiti and other world disasters, my heart aches for friends and those I don't even know who have lost loved ones, and more particularly babies. I stare at Brighton and can't imagine my life without her. Those that have lost a baby in their pregnancy have a hold on my heart strings. I don't have the words to say other than I'm sorry. If I could take away the hurt and pain that people are feeling around the world I would. I don't know what it is like to lose a child and I pray I will never have to...but for those who have....I love you...and I certainly know God loves you....sooner or later everything will be ok. Peace be with you I pray with all my heart and soul...Don't give up.

Cutest lil' peacock on the block....you know it's true

Hey Friends....Halloween pics are here....the votes are tallied....I have the cutest peacock on the block. Healther Telford took these darling pictures. I had to capture her first Halloween costume...I can't wait for next year! We went trick or treating too! (yes, I got some looks from some that seemed to convey the message "um, we know the candy is for you...") Any who, this baby girl is the best. Seriously....I know it's true.

Family Pictures

I know what you are all thinking....how did we get the CUTEST most BEAUTIFUL baby out there? I dunno....we just did. Allegra George took this amazing pictures over the Thanksgiving break and I loved them the second I got a peek. Thanks Allegra....speechless. I am the worst blogger ever...yes, I know, but I don't have time to care. Most if it is business with lives, baby, work, exercise...and yes, some of it is pure laziness. Brighton is now 11 months old....where did the last 11 months even go? It literally seems like a dream since I pushed this incredible blessing out of my....well, any way, time flies....and I hate it. I am busily planning her one year party....Rainbow Brite is the theme...and I can't wait to post those pictures when they come...hopefully it won't take me until next Christmas to get them up. Brighton weighs around 15 lbs....a teeny little fart, but my most favorite fart there is. This new year comes with hope for a better year than last (although having Brighton totally tops any year) Robb is working diligently with his business Buck Hard, and I am busy working at Dr. Swenson's and teaching dance. Life is busy, but it is great. I have loved getting back to the gym....Zumba-ing it up with the best darn teacher out there (Kass...) and falling in love with step all over again, and when I can't get my butt to the gym, I dig deep and find some fondness for the treadmill. Please enjoy these pics...I know I do, I am the proudest mommy and wife out there. XOXO

WAY OVERDUE!

Yes....the Fourth of July was four months ago...but I am posting the pics of my darling firecracker now. She apparently loves opening her mouth in pictures... but could she be any cuter? Before I had Brighton I blogged about??? I don't really remember...but she is my life now...therefore I blog about her. She is such a little spit fire...and when Robb met me he told me dynamite comes in small packages....watch out world...cuz Brighton is just that....

Bijou Market

For everyone who is dying for some amazing handmade goodies (not only food) you need to attend the Bijou Market this Saturday. Go to www.bijoumarket or more details. Also there is an awesome giveaway at www.sweetlifeinthevalley.com. I hope I get to see you all there! YOu won't be disappointed...just bring lots o' cash...cuz you will find treasures galore! Luvs!

What has been happening....

Holy Moly, I can't believe I am posting! It has been 6 weeks and I am finally sitting down to talk about life...and my life mainly consists of Brighton...my love for Brighton....the best baby in the whole universe...Brighton. Life has been crazy...but great! I am back at work two days a week for half of the day and my amazing aunt J.C. watches Brighton. (I was working three half days a week, but had a break down at work because I missed Brighton so I gave away my Thursday afternoons to someone else) oh and my babysitter for Brighton used to be my awesome cousin Allie, but she decided to move back to Washington and we all miss her to pieces! Robb has been working his little heart out on his business Buck Hard (go visit his website www.buckhard.com) and he is having the time of his life! We are grateful for our places of employment (because Buck Hard ain't payin' much of anything right now) but we are excited for what lies ahead of us. Buck Hard is a clothing and apparel company for the cowboy in you...so check it out! It has brought out the cowboy in Robb for sure...he has a pair of hot cowboy boots and has recently had a handle bar mustache...he rocks my world. Now on to Brighton. She is amazing to say the least. Her smile is the best remedy to cheer me up and remind me what is important in life. She is sitting up on her own and does the army crawl. She laughs and sings and talks and has filled our lives with unexplainable and incalculable joy. She is truly the "Bright" in our lives. She will be 9 months on November 5th...and her daddy will be turning 32 on November 5th! My mom celebrated her 60th on Saturday and we threw a great surprise party for her on Friday...it was a hit! We love life...we are grateful for family and friends...and hopefully this post will be followed by another here soon(soon as in sooner than 6 weeks. ) Luvs!

Old picture....same beautiful girl. She is growing every day, how can I stop time and keep her small just a bit longer. Stop time and study her eyes as they blink and twinkle, watch her discover her feet and so easily place them in her gummy little mouth (her gummy smile is too cute I don't want her to get teeth quite yet!) leave her for 2 seconds on the ground and when I come back she has rolled ten feet away from her original spot. Stop time and listen to her breathe, watch her tiny precious body take in breath and let it out...Life is hard and crazy and doesn't make sense to me most of the time, but when I see my girl I am brought back to a lovely place. She heals my soul, and lightens my burdens just by looking at me. I am her mother and she is my daughter...FOREVER! Thank you God for this most incredible gift. Please let her love me as much as I love her. My heart has grown a gajillion times bigger since having this life inside me and now outside of me. Ahhh...my heart is full at this moment...and now, even for just this moment today I am all right.

Little Buggy girl....

My darling neighbor Julie took these pictures of us at our complex and I am so grateful! Julie is extremely talented...she makes the most delicious desserts and treats and because she is so nice and I live so close to her...I am a lucky recipient of this goodness. Chocolate covered strawberries were great after the baby. Brighton is now 6 and a half months old and gets more fun by the minute! Just this last week she started sleeping 10 hours, HALLELUJAH! She eats solid foods, has less blowouts and talks up a storm. She always says dadadadada (which Robb says is because she loves her daddy so much...which she does, but he refuses to believe it is because it is easier for her to say) I love this little peanut to pieces! My life will never be the same...it will always be better because of this GORGEOUS little girl.

For Sale

So, your help would be MUCHO appreciated. Robb and I are selling our Town house and are wanting to move. We are staying in Utah County, but need something that fits our family's needs better. We live in great community and have a great ward. The Town house is located on Canyon Road in Provo across from Canyon Crest Elementary School in a place called Three Fountains. Our Unit is the end unit, 2300 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, updated with the best! Pool and clubhouse, beautiful grounds, and great neighbors. We are asking 205,000. Please let your friends and family know that may be looking for a nice place to live. Thanks!

Be careful what you wish for...

No pictures with this post...but be glad there isn't. I have been thinking lately, as I change Brighton's diaper that I miss the blow out days...because even though I was doing laundry more frequently and getting my hands in yellow poop every day, it didn't smell like it does now (rice cereal, fruits and veggies)....well...Brighton is crying...I get her out of the car and I smell that sweet smell (some say like buttered popcorn) so I look and it is ALL OVER the car seat. Yes, at least 3 cups worth had escaped her diaper and was sitting there in her lap and car seat. If there were pictures and a video camera with us as we cleaned up there would be some laughing...it was hilarious! Oh Brighton...you are so kind to give me just what I wish for....

My life...

This is a picture of my bathroom sink....yeah, bottles. Brighton was an okay nurser the first couple days of her existence...and then it went down hill. I was so exhausted that I decided that I was either going to switch to formula or pump...well, my little mommy heart kicked in and wanted the best for my baby girl and I have now been pumping for 6 very long months. I am going to continue to do it as long as I can stand (and I am hoping that it will work out to be a year), but until then, this is what I look at daily. Bottles ready to receive their nectar and picked from the tree and sent to the fridge. I am blessed to have much milk...my freezer is a freakin' dairy. Any how, this is all for the little one...the girl I love the most in this world...Brighton.

Recenty...

Hello friends out there...I recently received this email after previously sending an apology email and am not sure how to respond to it...would love your help. Here it is :

"All I am going to say is that I am upset about what you said. You have no right to say that Taylor and I are ungrateful for everything that has been done for us. We tell your Dad everyday how grateful we are while I am working at the family business so that your dad can pay for family fun and toys. Taylor's and my belief on issues that you have a problem with has been learned at the Ranch. Taylor and I are in recovery and we are doing well. but dealing with all of this family drama is making our recovery harder. And because of this, I am stepping back from this family. My recovery and my husband and son come first to me. What I believe and have learned at the Ranch has made it so that I am okay with not associating with your family. If you have a problem with how we believe things,you should bring it up with Chris at the Ranch. She is the one who has taught us about what things we should worry about and what things will just work itself out. I am loving my recovery as is Taylor and we are finally growing together as a family. We both talk to our Bishop and Stake President regurlarly and THEY are the ones who determine if we are worthy, you and your family do not determine if we are worthy of anything. So as of right now I will associate with your Dad and Mom who i love very much and appreciate, but I cannot associate with the rest of the family. Please do not contact me. I am finally over all of this."

Guess sorry isn't good enough....

A little pick me up...

So this picture is a little old (Brighton is about 4 months in this picture) but she holds her bottle! She totally grabs the end of it. I am still trying to figure out my Iphoto library on my mac, so I am only posting this pic, but I figured that after my last post, I need to apologize and give a little pick me up...and Brighton does just that. I wrote the last post in the heat of the moment...which is not good for me, but I wrote how I felt nonetheless. Well, my little girl is amazing! (no I am not bragging...okay, I am!) She laughs and talks and rolls around and man I love this little buggy girl! More pics to come...more RECENT pics to come....laters!

yes...i absolutely am.

For the few of you who read this blog....if by the end or middle or beginning of reading this post, you are asking yourselves, "is she really writing about this?" The answer is yes. Damn yes, hell yes and all the other explitives I won't write here but am absolutely feeling. I am angry. I am so mad I could spit fire from my eyeballs. If looks could kill, they would right now... I mean you could actually look at me and you would be dead (not only because I actually look like death, but because I am MAD!) Okay, here it is. A drug is a drug. Pain killers, tobacco, heroine, cocaine, nicotine...They are all addictive. ALL!!!! Would anyone out there rather have someone they love take one over the other? Doesn't taking any of them result in being unworthy to go to the Temple, practice the Priesthood( i.e blessings)? What the HELL is the point of a 20,000 dollar rehab if you are okay with tobacco afterwards? 20,000 dollars that NO ONE has the money for....nevermind the thousands of money that is being paid in your behalf for the dumb ass mistakes YOU made. And He is saving your behind...not the other way around. You are damn lucky he is yours because any other Dad would not. And in my heart of hearts, I blame him to. Someone that I love and respect so much...is a major part of this problem. Really. I mean, I don't get it. I want to punch both of you in the face...

updates

I know, total slacker with blogging anything worth while these days...sorry. We blessed Brighton on May 3rd. It was amazing, and she was an absolute angel...no crying in the circle. Grandma Krissy bought this blessing dress when I had her in the hospital, the UVRMC gift shop freakin' rocks! Although Brighton is almost 6 months now(what the crap?!?!) her 4 month stats are as follows: 9 lbs, below the 3rd percentile for weight, a touch above the 3 percentile for head circumference, and 25 percentil for height...she is a string bean. I took her swimming one day at my sis in laws place and um, yeah, they don't make swim diapers small enough for this squirt...so if she happened to squirt, it would definitely get in the pool. Notice the fringe on the back of her head....honestly, it is so funny. And the top picture is her 4 month mark. Isn't she the cutest? I love her. We recently started rice cereal, and she is not the most coordinated at eating it, I hope it comes eventually. And when Robb and I weigh her on our scale, she weighs almost 12 lbs. I wish I could lose 12 lbs. But it was all worth it for this little spaz of a girl. I would give anything for this little lady. She is my best bud.

The Jones's

What is it in my post baby weight filled body that has continued over the years to feel the exhausting need to keep up with the Jones's. You may know them...it is pretty much everyone in Utah...and anyone I know. Now in reading this you may immediately think to yourself "wow, Annie is absolutely, positively the most ungrateful human being on the planet..." and I am sure a plethura of other things are running through your mind. Well, I might very well be ungrateful. But I am not trying to be ungrateful and thus the pit digging begins and I find myself a billion feet down and I might as well be worm food. Whether it be a nicer car, a bigger house, an amazing wardrobe, a darling nursery, a fabulous body(especially the teeny bop moms with a body to die for after several kids) a great homemaker and mother....just about everything I find my jealousy button on overload and I am not quite sure how to stop it and get perspective. I figure if I could just get away from the here I might find solace from the jealousy jabs that constantly poke at my heart and mind that bring me no joy at all, but all that comes is absolute guilt that is as thick as the frosting on the Sprinkles cupcakes I made last night....thick, full of fat, and not good for me...but irresistable. Hmmm, I think I need some serious help. A mental health professional? Unfortunately I am pretty sure that all the mental health professionals in the world could not help me...and thus I lead my life in frustration and helpless-ness at the fact that there will always be the Jones's and there will always be someone better than I. I will never be the best...or wait, forget the best....better, I would settle for better.

The Bijou Market

Dear Blogging buddies! I am super pumped to go to the Bijou Market! I have never been, but when I went to the Womens Expo at UVU I ran into this super cute booth called MotleyHandmade and fell in love with their head bands. I wanted to know more and she referred me to a fun event this Saturday June 27th called the Bijou Market, which is where a bunch of amazing vendors will be selling their product. Check out this website to get more info....I hope to see you all there! www.bijoumarket.com.

This relationship is disfunctional

All right....enough is enough. We just can't do this anymore....mainly because my nerves can't take it. But the stares I get, and the screeching in my ears and oh yeah, running into every darn display. I am sorry disabled shopping cart, I will no longer be using you, and I will take you back if I pick you the first time.

Every time I go to the store, whether it be Maceys, Walmart, Costco, Target, Harmons, Days market...whenever I get a shopping cart I pick the one with the squeaky wheel, or broken, wobbly wheel...I HAVE HAD IT! The shopping cart is so sneaky too! It doesn't let me know it is defunct until I am away from the pile of carts, so I am too lazy to go trade it and I also feel bad for the darn cart, thinking that if I put it back I might be confirming to it that it is absolutely annoying and useless...the measure of its creation has come and gone. So I stick with the da** cart the whole time, amongst the annoyed stares and the couple of displays I just about knock over and swear to myself that it will be the last time I commit myself to the unfortunate carts. Well, I'm Done. I need a break, and maybe in a few months my heart my have room to push you around and let you feel those wheels a burnin', but for now...adios amigos!

Time won't stand still...

No pictures with this post...sorry. I just can't take it anymore. My little baby is growing up! I am sure to all of you she looks like a baby, but she is getting bigger by the day and the last few days I have cried as I look at my sweet little munchkin develop into this amazing little person with her own beautiful personality. I finally understand the love my mother has and must of had for me. Brighton is truly amazing. She starting rolling from her tummy to her tender little back three weeks ago! She has held her head up from the day she was born and she has a strong personality. She is a little firecracker and I can only hope that her physical strength that she portrays will transfer over into her spiritual and emotional strength. She is the love of my life. Sometimes she smiles so big all you see are her pink taffy like gums and her cheeks get all round and I just want to eat 'em! Her hair is growing...and while it is growing steadily everywhere, she still has a big turkey tail at the crown of her head and very little up front...it is awesome! Her little screeches and screams have become louder and really high pitched and she is so silly. She has been sleeping in her own room in her big black crib for two weeks now...and not once has she cried when I put her in there and turn off the lights. She is an angel. My dear sweet angel that I somehow got lucky enough to get and I never want to let her go. So please, dear Brighton don't grow up too fast. Let me hold you a little while longer, let me stare at you for forever and let me love you for eternity my sweet little beauty queen...my princess....my all.