Monday, July 6, 2009

The Jones's


What is it in my post baby weight filled body that has continued over the years to feel the exhausting need to keep up with the Jones's. You may know them...it is pretty much everyone in Utah...and anyone I know. Now in reading this you may immediately think to yourself "wow, Annie is absolutely, positively the most ungrateful human being on the planet..." and I am sure a plethura of other things are running through your mind. Well, I might very well be ungrateful. But I am not trying to be ungrateful and thus the pit digging begins and I find myself a billion feet down and I might as well be worm food. Whether it be a nicer car, a bigger house, an amazing wardrobe, a darling nursery, a fabulous body(especially the teeny bop moms with a body to die for after several kids) a great homemaker and mother....just about everything I find my jealousy button on overload and I am not quite sure how to stop it and get perspective. I figure if I could just get away from the here I might find solace from the jealousy jabs that constantly poke at my heart and mind that bring me no joy at all, but all that comes is absolute guilt that is as thick as the frosting on the Sprinkles cupcakes I made last night....thick, full of fat, and not good for me...but irresistable. Hmmm, I think I need some serious help. A mental health professional? Unfortunately I am pretty sure that all the mental health professionals in the world could not help me...and thus I lead my life in frustration and helpless-ness at the fact that there will always be the Jones's and there will always be someone better than I. I will never be the best...or wait, forget the best....better, I would settle for better.

7 comments:

Our EyreLife said...

A few thoughts for you, my dear...and hopefully one of them will help...

First, what you are experiencing could possibly be "baby blues" stuff. Having a new one is overwhelming to EVERYONE no matter how much of a smile they put on. It will probably pass as things settle into a strong routine and as you get more rest. If it doesn't pass, tell your doc who might be able to really give some good advice. My best advice is to get some good B Vitamins into your body. They always help me.

Secondly, there will ALWAYS be the JONES'S who are better, richer, stronger, cuter, whatever than you (not YOU as in Annie, but YOU as in general people). But what you must realize is that YOU are the JONES'S to someone else out there! There are plenty of people who wish they had an adorable daughter, a fantastic dancing ability, memories of living in China...you name it. The grass always seems greener on the other side...to EVERYONE...it isn't a weird thing to feel that way.

And thirdly, you've always had a close relationship to your Heavenly Father. Ask for a blessing, pray, do some sort of service to someone...and you'll be just fine. I'm so glad you posted this because I'm sure a lot of ladies feel the same way...even here in happy valley.

Best of luck to you! Hang in there!

Kory said...

On my way out of work yesterday I saw something on this same subject on your facebook status. I've been thinking about it ever since. I was trying not to do the 'man' thing and try and offer a solution, (I hear women don't like that) but it's on your blog now, so it's free game. Here's some of the thoughts that came to me. Jealousy generally comes from our insecurities. Our insecurities might stem from what other people do or don't say, but ultimately come from the Adversary. Your Heavenly Father doesn't want you to think those things. Knowing the source helps me overcome those feelings. Being better than someone doesn't make your insecurities go away. And if you don't feel as pretty as someone, there's a million people around you that don't think that, or don't care. Real confidence comes from being right with your Heavenly Father and doing your best to be a good person. We all struggle with this. If you want to know how good you are at something or how pretty you are, ask you Heavenly Father, his opinion does count. This is everything but it's getting long. It's churchy but it's Jessie's fault for starting it. I hope this helps.

Kory said...

By the 'don't care', I meant aren't concerned weather you're prettier or not because it's you.

Amy said...

Both Jessie and Kory put it quite nicely, better than I could have for sure. You aren't alone tho, we all get that way sometimes. Blogging I think makes it worse. :)We are all so connected with blogs and see everyone elses "highlights".

When I start to get that way I try to think of at least 5 things I am proud of myself for accomplishing or doing, or being. This allows me to push out the negative thinking and start thinking positive. I know this sounds dumb but it really works.

jacksonhaleyandwarren said...

You are funny because I think you look amazing, your an amazing mom, wife etc.. What you are feeling is totaly human nature we always want more and better and thats ok. Because that drive in us makes us an all around better person. Because we keep progressing into a better person if you use it that way. I know you will LOL

Kat Clark said...

I swear I feel the exact same way at least, AT LEAST, once a day too. I guess that means that you are doing the same thing that everyone else is and therefore you ARE keeping up with the Jones's!!! I love you. You are awesome! Promise.

Shanna said...

I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels this way! Good or not! I do and I am so glad I am not alone! Your great Annie! I just love you so much and for the person you are! Call me so we can get together already!